enchanting moments

2009-10-29T22:15:00.002+08:00

longing...

i miss you so much. i want to hug you really tight. i want to kiss you, cuddle with you all night...
i'm just being true (sometimes, i really believe that alcohol helps me deal with my emotions.) now that i have alcohol running in my blood, i don't care about the world. i would say what i want to say without thinking of other people, shame or whatsoever. I LOVE YOU! i would shout to the world. i want you to know, you're MY ONE GREAT LOVE... i've told you already, i will never love any man again the way i did to you... i hate to feel this way but at the same time i don't care. i feel so helpless and hopeless... but then, one glimpse of you in my memory take those pain away. my heart is overwhelmed by my desire of being with you...
i just want to be with you...forever...

i love you. nothing can change that.

2009-10-28T19:40:00.001+08:00

can't get over... (october 28, 2009; from my iPod)

i was having a movie marathon... the first movie i watched was Local Color. I was just browsing the tube, looking for a good movie to watch to start my day. i stumbled upon this movie. the lead guy looks so much like "him." of course i continued to watch it until the end. oh how much i love that movie! not just because of the lead guy but the movie itself. it was very inspiring; it shows how one should pursue his dreams no matter what, points of view from different ages and the four seasons; the nature... the trees, the mountains, the plains, the rivers, the lakes, the seas... the clouds and the sky being painted vibrantly by the setting sun...

2009-09-30T20:27:00.002+08:00

TOTALLY PISSED OFF

I'm so tired of these fucking school works! nasa magandang school nga ako pero hindi ko naman maipagmalaki dahil pilit ang pagpasok ko dito. nasa maganda nga akong school pero everytime na pumapasok ako sa klase, nanliliit talaga ako! dahil sila pumasa, ako transferee na nga lakad pa. sorry kung hindi ako pinanganak na kasing talino niyo. pero kahit ganito ako marunong akong mainsulto! napakadaling sabinin para sa inyo na ok lang kahit mababa, ok lang kahit ganto, ganyan. hindi niyo kasi naramdaman yung INSULTONG naramdaman ko nung humarap ako sa chancellor at registrar ng lintik na school na yan. palibhasa iniisip niyo lang sariling niyong kaligayahan!

ang hirap-hirap para sakin gumising at pumasok sa umaga thinking na bago na namang kahihiyan sa buhay ko! tuwing makikita ko yung mga tao sa paligid ko nanliliit ako! hindi ako nakakapag-recitation dahil baka mamaya mapahiya lang ako sa sasabihin ko! na hind ako katulad nila na mabilis mag-isip ng pwedeng isagot sa teacher! na mas magaling sila sa akin! alam niyo ba kahit minsan hindi ko ramdam na parte ako ng school na yan?! wala lang pumapasok ako, yun na yun! DON'T YOU EVER DARE BLAME ME IF I DON'T GET GOOD GRADES, SINUSUNOD KO LANG KAYO BAKA KASI PARA NAMAN FOR THE FIRST TIME EH MAY MAGANDANG MANGYARI SA BUHAY KO! NA HINDI NAMAN AKO YUNG MASUNOD KASI NGA DIBA PALPAK AKO?! KAYO ANG MAY GUSTO NA DIYAN AKO MAG-ARAL KESYO SIGURADONG MAY FUTURE. BAKIT LAHAT BA NANG GUMRADUATE DIYAN SIGURADONG MAY TRABAHO? HA? YOU TELL ME!

2009-09-08T21:57:00.002+08:00

Fed Up

I am sooo fed up with today's happenings. i was walking home so stressed out from an activity for a subject. i lost my phone while on my way home. now i don't know how to say it to my mother. for sure she will get really mad at me again. i don't get any support from this house. at least with my friends who tried to look for it despite the heavy downpour and darkness. they also reported it to the CSB police.

2009-09-05T20:16:00.002+08:00

ALLERGIES GALORE

I have allergies again. I ate "tuyo" spaghetti. Tuyo is a dried fish. Instead of meat, they used tuyo. the sauce is really great. it's made of pure tomatoes and basil and parmesan. I'm allergic to tuyo but i have no choice i'm really hungry. i ate it and now my whole body is itching. and i'm starting to sneeze again.

This past few weeks i'v noticed that my nose was very sensitive, i don't usually sneeze easily. but now i would have "multiple" sneezes then my nose would start to run.

The bush in our garden started to flower again. and i am also allergic to its flowers. its smell is so strong that i'd have a runny nose. for the past years, i would have asthma attacks when it blooms.

2009-09-05T20:02:00.002+08:00

PBB

I want to join PBB! Maybe there I'd be able to find myself, find new friends, find support I cannot get from my family and friends...

I REALLY WANT TO TRY IT! I'm not after the prize, but for the EXPERIENCE. My life is SOOOO DULL. Maybe I'd find life there. ooohhh, i really want to try it!!!

2009-09-05T19:11:00.003+08:00

Oh Christmas time...

The "ber" (months ending in 'ber' means Christmas is coming here in the Philippines) months has begun. The wind is getting cold but probably because of storm; it rained all day. I was enthralled by sundown, seeing Christmas lights across the street.Our neighbor has already put up their Christmas tree. Maybe the old couple's just excited. Maybe to lift their spirits, they only have each other.

One thing I remember every Christmas season, Mommy (my grandma) and I would play a game when we're on the road (on our way home or when going out at night). the one who sees first [a Christmas light] gets the point. Talk about good ol' days. =)

2009-08-17T20:43:00.007+08:00

happy thought, happy thought.

i woke up in the middle of the wee hours yesterday(Sunday) because of a bad dream. i've been changing positions so i can sleep again but i really can't. i prayed, turned my pillow to its opposite side and punched it several times (as what my father taught me when i was little when i'm having a bad dream) so it won't go back. i lay my head and was thinking randomly for a happy thought. i can't remember mostly of what i have thought that early morning but realized a lot of things. it's like i was evaluating the things i thought i love doing, maybe i really love doing but it doesn't necessarily brings happiness to me. it was really a long least, i hope i could put everything.

>shopping? tiring thought.
>high school friends? not quite
>high school experiences? not enough
>high school, the school itself? nauseous
>high school? shameful thought
>night out with friends? empty thought
>homecoming? ugh
>5-layered cotton candy in different colors? happy but nakakahinayang kainin and when i'm done eating it, it's sad.
>
>julien and the moments? painful thought

i'll update it when i have time. i need to study for an exam on thurs.

2009-07-31T15:43:00.003+08:00

waiting in vain...

i'm in a computer shop right now just in the vicinity of UP. yes, i'm now studying in UP and it's really giving me sooo much pressure! anyway, i have only one class today. i'm just waiting for my friend, we will go to a fortune teller later. i've been out from school since 9:20 am (from a supposedly 8.30-10am class.) i bought breakfast from McDonald's -- two sausage mcmuffins, twister fries and orange juice. hindi ako gutom! haha! then i walked to where mama was. they were at the kanto of the subdivision where their office is located. they were having an "ukay-ukay" (garage sale) as their fund raising. she left me there with their two nurses and another employee. her boss picked her up for an emergency meeting. i waited their for hours. i'm supposed to go home but i still don't feel like going home. she said she will go back but then she didn't. i texted my friend and i accompanied her for lunch then went back to the garage sale. i decided to go back to the campus and just wait at my aunt's office (just near the campus). they were packing up when i left; it started to drizzle. i'm halfway to the campus' gate when it started to rain really hard. my mom talked to me on the phone before i left and she told me to go home and not wait for my friend until 4pm. but i don't want to go home yet.

though i'm "nakukunsensya" (feeling guilty) not following my mom again. she told me to go home but i insisted to wait for my friend until 4pm. i'm stuck here in a computer shop because of the heavy downpour. i hope this "pagpapasaway" won't be a reason again for us to fight. she always tells me straight to my face that i'm always "palpak". and for now, i'm not doing good in school... i'm afraid... more like scared to death... to get the tension off my system, i'm making myself busy reading funny columns in tristancafe, listening opm in imeem, feeding my hatchlings pets(they are really starving) and writing this blog post. but still the fright inside me does not fade.

i don't know what's happening to me. i'm out of focus again. everything seems behind me. as in everything!!! i don't know how i can get to focus again to my studies. i need my focus as soon as possible! no, i need it now!!!

ooohhh... >.<

i need to survive in this environment! (survival of the fittest? =p) no i'm serious. i don't know what to do. i really need to make it with everything!

2009-02-23T19:53:00.002+08:00

so down...

I feel a bit “emo” today. I miss my high school days; doing the same routine everyday, meeting the same people I’ve been with since I was in my preschool days, same teachers; same faces, same personalities, same attitudes. It doesn’t give me much tension. Maybe because I always know what’s going happen, only surprise quizzes will make a day different but I can always make through it smoothly. I miss ME, the ME that can write beautiful poems right there and then and being appreciated by people around me. The ME that can get loose any time and not be judged, the ME that gives a very good laugh every day.

Remembering my last days in high school was very chaotic. When the UPCAT results were released during the weekend, that very Monday, during the flag ceremony, the school officials proudly announced the UPCAT passers. Some were jumping for joy, some were crying because they didn’t make it. Me? It’s like I don’t care about what’s happening around. I knew it I won’t make it there. For me there are LOTS of other universities out there and I passed one, but I’m not satisfied. I want to go to either one of the “trinity.” Because of my uncertainty of my school and the course I would like to take, I lost track. And this time is bigger. It not like in love where I can accept every ill-fated day whole-heartedly, without regretting every thing I’ve done. This is different; it’s my future that is on the line. It’s my future that is at risk. Or maybe I’m just too insecure that MOST of my batch mates will go to one of the “trinity” while me in a university owned by the manila’s old-rich families (they say… maybe it’s true and it can also be a sugar coating so I won’t feel bad). I really wanted to take BS Psychology. But planning to transfer to UP the next semester or next S.Y. gave me second thoughts. I was worried that the chemistry subject might become a problem; I’m not that good at it. So I planned to shift my course to Mass Communication (my second choice). Everything was doing well, except for the thought that I’ll be living on my own in Makati, the busiest city. Walking alone on the unfamiliar and busy streets of Makati scares me, if only I can live inside the malls and have a bridge there connected to my school, then it’ll be fine. And I don’t know how to cross the street; I’m not even used to commuting alone. Everything is sooo unclear. I can’t see my future (that gave me the thought that I won’t live any longer). Then 3days before the opening of classes, an unsolicited advice changed everything, not for the better, but for worse. I backed out. Good thing we still got the refund for the tuition (which we will be returning to one sponsoring me. one of the owners of this university happened to be the family of my grandfather’s sister-in-law. They learned that I took the entrance exam of their school and they volunteered to give me a private scholarship) and uniforms, but unfortunately we haven’t got the refund for my apartment. My mom got hysterical, so mad at me because everything is “planstado” na. All I’ve gotta do is to transfer my things to my apartment. Then the next thing happened was I had an immediate enrollment in a Colegio just by the next town, which I really NEVER wished to study in to. But I have no choice. I enrolled in an HRM (hotel and restaurant management) course which I also never thought of giving it a try. During the first semester, I am learning to enjoy it especially the nutrition and English subjects (where I am always the highest). But now, I’m half way done with the second semester and I’m scared to fail the expectations of my mom. She has really high faith in me that I can make it to UP this time. Based on my grades during the first sem, I am really good. But now, I guess I’m still good but I don’t want to expect a lot. I lost my interest in HRM. I have teacher who seems do the “guessing game” in giving grades in quizzes and seat works. And I’m afraid I’ll get low grades in her. They say I can’t get a line 7. I’m afraid. Really afraid.

But, honestly, I’m not that really into UP now. I’m considering other schools like Malayan or exclusive schools in Manila or just any school that has a name and good reputation, just not this school I’m into now! But then I know, they won’t allow me, after I backed out before. If they won’t allow me to go back to manila, then being able to transfer to UP would be fine. I’ll just think of ways to survive when I get there.

Oh, please help me. You’re the One holding my fate, so please, get me back on track. I really can’t afford to see my mom being heart broken because I failed her dream for me on going to UP. She’s doing me a lot of favors right now, the debut, my medicines, my check-ups, eating out, my allowance, the get-well-soon cake, and her sudden change of attitude. I don’t want her to be bitter again to me. I don’t want to fail her. I don’t want to get line of 7’s anymore. Please change my Filipino teacher’s mind of giving me grades and the NSTP… they are all killing me inside. Please, I’m really bothered. I want to transfer to UP para sa ikatatahimik ng buhay naming pare-pareho and of course, my future’s sake.

2009-02-22T22:36:00.002+08:00

My first blog post for the year

This is my first blog post for this year! Yes, my last post was last November. Since then, i haven't visited this site again. i don't know if i'm just too busy or what or maybe, PROBABLY i'm just too lazy to record the unpleasant changes i've gone through for the past few months. *sigh*
i miss blogging so much! a lot of things have happened. a lot of realizations have been realized. a lot of things have changed. *ting!*

but now, i might start blogging again. write a post everyday... (i'll try. =D) and i need to practice my writing skills *twink* (somewhere else...) so, i guess it's best to practice it here. i wasn't able to enroll in an english class this sem because of unavailability of rooms/teachers...etc. whatever the hell their reasons are. i hate it. that's the only subject where i excel the most then i woudn't have it for five months?! but, i still have lots of alternatives so i won't forget my lessons and improve my skills -- reading my old textbooks, novels, watching cable tv series (and playhouse disney!), writing and writing and writing and more reading!

2008-11-24T18:16:00.005+08:00

11.24.06

REMINDER: DO NOT BE MALICIOUS

Well, talk about reminiscing. Tonight is the best and most memorable night yet of my youth. Today, Tash and Josh are celebrating their 2nd anniversary. Not only that, it's also Josh's birthday. Happy birthday dad!

I have my own share to these events. I am also celebrating something. A magical moment… a moment of trust and care. It is something I will never forget. Something that will always have a room here in my heart. A memory I will be bringing all throughout my lifetime.

"nainom ka? wag masyado ha."

"tama na, concerned lang ako sayo"

"tama na please, para sakin?"

"pwede ba kita i-hug?"

"Oo... diba nagsa-start over tayo ulit"

`````````````````````````````````````````````
"saka, madami pa naman chances eh, diba, malay natin sa future. Mahal din naman kita eh, hindi nga lang ganong level."

"Carla, Carla, teka wag ka muna umalis"

"pwede bang bigyan na din kita ng goodbye kiss?"

I'm holding onto the 3rd to the last... but please don't get me wrong. I'm living my life the way I'm suppose to.

2008-10-17T15:49:00.003+08:00

"I love the whole world, it's such a brilliant place!"

This is the BEST-est ad I've ever seen! =)

The song is very catchy. Love it!

and here's the lyrics:

I love the mountains
I love the clear blue skies
I love big bridges
I love when great whites fly
I love the whole world [Les Stroud]
And all its sights and sounds
Boom-dee-ah-da, boom-dee-ah-da
Boom-dee-ah-da, boom-dee-ah-da
I love the oceans
I love real dirty things [Mike Rowe]
I love to go fast
I love Egyptian kings
I love the whole world
And all its craziness
Boom-dee-ah-da, boom-dee-ah-da
Boom-dee-ah-da, boom-dee-ah-da [Richard Machowicz]
I love tornadoes [Joshua Wurman]
I love arachnids [Bear Grylls]
I love hot magma
I love the giant squids
I love the whole world
It's such a brilliant place
Boom-dee-ah-da, boom-dee-ah-da [Jamie Hyneman and Adam Savage]
Boom-dee-ah-da, boom-dee-ah-da [Stephen Hawking]
Boom-dee-ah-da, boom-dee-ah-da
Boom-dee-ah-da, boom-dee-ah-da
Boom-dee-ah-da, boom-dee-ah-da

and the cast:
Les Stroud,Host Of Survivorman
Mike Rowe,Host Of Dirty Jobs
Richard Machowicz,Host Of Future Weapons
Joshua Wurman,Storm Chasers
Bear Grylls,Host OF Man Vs. Wild
Jamie Hyneman,Host OF MythBusters
Adam Savage,Host Of MythBusters
Stephen Hawking ... Himself

2008-09-19T20:42:00.002+08:00

got this from a friendster bulletin.

21 things girls don't know about guys...

1) Guys may be flirting around all day, but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about....

2) Guys are more emotional than you think, if they loved you at one point, it'll take them a lot longer than you think to let you go, and it hurts every second that they try.

3) Guys go crazy over a girl's smile (:

4) A guy who likes you wants to be the only guy you talk to.

5) Giving a guy a hanging message like "You know what?..uh...never mind.." would make him jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking. And he'll assume he did something wrong and he'll obsess about it trying to figure it out.

6) If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don't need to give advice.

7) A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.

8) GUYS LOVE YOU MORE THAN YOU LOVE THEM!!!

9) Guys use words like hot or cute to describe girls. They rarely use beautiful or gorgeous. If a guy uses that, he loves you or likes you a whole heck of a lot.

10)If the guy does something stupid in front of the girl, he will think about it for the next couple days or until the next time he spends time with the girl.

11)If a guy looks unusually calm and laid back, he's probably faking it and he is really thinking about something

12) When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl, he really is.

Guys rarely say that

13)When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he's just actually saying, "Please come and listen to me

14)If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him. It doesn't happen that often, so when it does, you know something's up.

15) When a guy looks at you for longer than a second, he's definitely thinking

something.

16) Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable decisions and are MAD confusing but somehow are drawn even more to them

17)A guy would give the world to be able to read a girl's mind for a day.

18)No guy can handle all his problems on his own.

He's just too stubborn to admit it

19)NOT ALL GUYS ARE RUDE!!!

Just because ONE is RUDE doesn't mean he represents ALL of them

20)WHEN A GUY SACRIFICES HIS SLEEP AND HEALTH JUST TO TALK TO YOU, HE REALLY LIKES YOU AND WANTS TO BE WITH YOU AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE

21)Even if you dump a guy months ago and he loved you he probably still does and if he had one wish it would be you to come back into his life.

maybe these are for real... alam ko bihira na ang ganito, sana makatagpo pa ako! hehehe!

2008-08-30T20:42:00.002+08:00

Puto Bumbong

it's already available in the store beside a nearby church, and it is only Aug.30! i love this pinoy "Christmas food" (it's only available in the streets during Christmas season). i really indulge with this delicacy since i only get to eat this during the "ber" months (unless i go to a restaurant w/c serves puto bumbong all year-round). i really really love and enjoy the puto bumbong when it's newly cooked. i would put lots of butter and sprinkle it with sugar (i don't eat niyog/grated coconut) yum! yum!

2008-08-17T14:20:00.000+08:00

40 Lessons in Life

Forty things you should have learnt by now

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

2. Don't worry about what people think. They don't do it very often.

3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian, any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.

6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.

8. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.

9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government programme.

10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of cheques.

12. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.

13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.

14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.

15. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.

16. A balanced diet is a biscuit in each hand.

17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.

18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.

19. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.

20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.

21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognise a mistake when you make it again.

22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

23. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy fridge.

24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.

25. It's not the jeans that make your bum look fat.

26. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved - and never will achieve - its full potential, that word would be "meetings".

27. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness".

28. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

29. You should not confuse your career with your life.

30. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

31. Never lick a steak knife.

32. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

33. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we put the clocks back.

34. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

35. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.

36. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, and ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.

37. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.

38. Your friends love you anyway.

39. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

40. Smile anyway. It doesn't hurt.

2008-08-14T18:52:00.001+08:00

Tornado in LB

Before I don’t really care much about these changes since our place don’t experience big floods, earthquakes, strong typhoons and other natural calamities. But now, even Los Baños, Laguna is experiencing these kinds of calamities too and worse, they’re strong and we’re not used to it. Usually, when there are typhoons in Manila or Bicol or other neighboring cities, we don’t get affected, the sun is still high but now typhoons are bigger and stronger that it gives us downpours.

On September 2006, super typhoon Milenyo directly hit ELBI. I can still remember when it had its landfall. Electricity was down. Our house was completely shut. I was doing a cross-stitch project in our living and I can really hear the strong winds whirling just outside the window. When the rain and wind subsided, we opened the doors in the dining room and we saw the treetop of our mango tree was hanging on the roof of our kitchen. The roof was renovated.

Super typhoon Milenyo was followed by Reming.

On Aug.7, 2008 an earthquake occurred at around 4:45am. They said it was strong, it woke my dad and a lot of my classmates felt it. But I guess I was too sleepy then and/or too busy looking for an outfit (it was our fieldtrip).

August 13, 2008 at 2am, it rained very hard, we thought there was a typhoon. It woke me up and I wasn’t able to sleep again. It lasted for almost an hour or two.

Today, Aug.14, 2008 a tornado was seen in LB. I saw the video my aunt took while it was forming and it’s quite big. My dad saw it first and called my aunt, she took a video of it. My dad said they saw debris flying beside the tornado.

My dad said the climate change is very alarming because only last week we had an earthquake and now a tornado. And one day, we might experience snow. Sana nga! =)

2008-08-10T20:08:00.002+08:00

what is love?

"Love is a very wonderful feeling. And the pain it brings, the pain true love brings is very significant. No matter how helpless you are, in a different side, it will still make you happy. Above all, when you get to live with the pain and have let go, there will still come a time that you want to feel the significance of the pain true love have brought you."

by AlyCab

2008-07-19T20:37:00.005+08:00

power puff...

hahaha! we haven't talked about giving a formal name to our clique. i just fondly call it "power puff."

these pictures were taken two saturdays ago; we decided to see each other after moooonths! and we have decided that every saturday we'll go on a gimmick. but unfortunately yen was not able to come because her mother didn't allow her so we just re-scheduled it...today.

yen, tash, me ^^
and another...

tash and yen

tash and aly^^ (i look so stressed!)

i'm so thankful that i have them in my life. especially in times like this, they're always on my side. they help me survive this tiring life i have right now. they are my angels!

i wasn't able to get the pictures we have taken today. i forgot... hehe. yen was in a hurry (we will go home together)

i'll post the other pictures next week! ^^

i need Stress Tabs!!!

2008-06-24T16:58:00.002+08:00

An e-mail sent to me...

i just want to quote this from Maya Angelou (in an Oprah interview): ''I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.''

about handling situations...

i'm REALLY REALLY having a HARD time in handling situations like:
- someone you always see or always you're with to keeps nagging about money. 'nuff said.
- you mistakenly listened to an unsolicited advice and because of that you suffer from loneliness/sadness because later on you realized that it would be the best if you followed your OWN decision. ika nga sa 'pinas, nasa huli ang pagsisisi. sounds regretful? yes i am. because of that stupidity, my whole future is at risk. and nobody can help me with that, it's all in my hands! all the people who care and love for me can only give their support and motivation that i hope, i REALLY hope, can be a BIG help. ok, guys please. just help me.
- you trusted the wrong person and worse kept on listening to her until you have "woken up" from reality -- everything's on it's WORST.
- before i was miserable because of a heartbreak, now i can say i'm more miserable because beside having a heartbreak, i'm not happy with my school.

i'm pissed off! everything's f*cked up! please help me stand again...

2008-05-15T11:26:00.002+08:00

pissed off

ayoko na pinipilit akong gawin ang isang bagay na ayaw ko tapos mamadaliin pa ako; napilitan na nga lang eh tapos ganon pa. it really pisses me off. hate it! i don't give a sh*t.

2008-04-09T06:22:00.002+08:00

A dream is a wish your heart makes...

I just woke up. I really went straight to the computer to blog my dream. It was a very nice dream; it made me feel at peace. I dreamt of the things and person I love the most: the sky, the clouds, the stars, the dusk, the grass, the trees, my piano, and my best friend. It’s kinda weird because we were in our school uniforms and atop with toga and cap. We were supposed to be practicing our graduation, I think (but we already graduated last 29^th of March). But anyway, I just really loved it! It made me miss my best friend and thought that in year’s time; we could fulfill our promise to be travel buddies. I really can’t wait for that!

Hey, Piggy D! You weren’t texting me since we last saw each other – the farewell party for our batch!

Good day, people!

2008-04-02T08:32:00.003+08:00

Graduates 2007-2008

Congratulations samin! hay, goodbye high school pero ayoko sabihing "goodbye friends" para sakin kung totoo kaming magkakaibigan, kahit na magkakalayo na kami, iba-iba ng school friends pa rin kami, hahanap at hahanap talaga kami ng paraan para magkita-kita. madaming memories akong ite-treasure sa high school pati na rin yung mga advices sakin ng mga naging advisers ko from first year to fourth year.

sa school namin, kakaiba talaga. kahit high school na kami "baby-ing-baby" pa kami. nire-remind kami palagi ng mga teachers kung may mga hindi pa kami nasu-submit na papers/projects at gumagawa sila ng paraan para mahigit pataas yung grades namin. mababait naman yung mga naging teachers namin; mutual ang love namin. sabi nga nung isa naming teacher, bago lang siya ngayon SY lang siya pumasok samin, ok lang daw na magalit sa kanya yung office wag lang mga estudyante niya. dun pa lang nalaman ko na na makakasundo namin siya. actually ngayon last year namin sa montessori, mejo special dahil na rin sa mga teachers at nakita talaga namin ang unity saming mga estudyante. kung kelangan talaga ipaglaban ang isang bagay, pinaglalaban namin sa office. nakatulong na rin yung mga officers in-charge sa high school department kasi tinutulungan nila kami. nagkakaproblema lang naman talaga sa "baba" alam na namin kung saan at sino yung nasa "baba." kahit na para na kaming preso sa school, literal ha... yung ledge kasi namin nilagyan na ng rehas. sa mga huling months namin sa school naging special na yun para samin kasi may unity na talaga.

Graduation namin nung March29 sa D.L. Umali Hall, masaya ako nun kasi dumating yung mga teachers namin na umalis na dahil sa "baba." after talaga nung program nakita ko yung adviser ko nung 3rd year at in-embrace ko siya, sabi nia sakin "ano, hindi ka na iyakin ngayon?" siya kasi yung nakakita kung gano ako nasaktan at kung gano ako umiyak dati...hay! reminiscing mode ba ito?! hahaha! anyway. ma-mimiss ko silang lahat.

sa next posts ko yung mga pictures at "pagbabalik-tanaw" hehehe. aalis pa kasi ako. bakasyon na kasi, sadyang hindi ako mapirmi dito sa bahay. hehehe!

2008-03-26T21:48:00.003+08:00

depressed...

sobrang lungkot ko ngayon. pagod na pagod na ako. hindi ko alam kung hanggang saan ako dadalhin nitong pangakong 'to. basta ang alam ko lang, pagod na ako pero kahit ganon, ayoko pa rin sumuko. gagawin ko lahat para lang matupad ko yung promise na 'yon... alam ko, hindi naman ako nagkukulang sa effort, sobra-sobra na nga eh pero bakit ganon? walang nangyayari, malapit na "deadline" ng promise ko pero hindi ko pa rin alam kung pano ko yun matutupad. wala naman nagsasabi na importanteng tuparin ko yun pero para sakin yun na lang ang tanging paraan para mapakita ko kung gano siya kahalaga sakin. oo, may iba pang paraan para ma-prove ko sa kanya pero sa tingin ko ito yung pinaka-unang step.

basta, goodluck na lang sakin.

2008-03-24T17:34:00.006+08:00

Happy Easter!

yeah, belated. anyway, i still do easter egg hunting even if i'm already turning 17, even though i already knew who the easter bunny was (it's my aunt). we really enjoy it. she'll decorate the eggs and hide them at night when i'm already asleep then in the morning i'll look for them around the house. and when i'm having a difficulty in finding the eggs, she'll give me clues. yesterday she took a video of me while hunting for the easter eggs. she hid one egg on one of the throw pillows in the living room; i removed the throw pillows one by one and put them on the table, something cracked when i was putting the second pillow on the table, voila! an egg! hahaha!

my easter friends. i love bunnies!

my easter pancake. my aunt made it too for me.

my easter eggs. easter bunny gave me 7 eggs to look for.

bunnies' portrait

easter friends with the easter eggs!